I'm 18 years old and a total baby when it comes to relationships.
I'm mushy, and giving, and all I want back is a bit of attention.
I'm not dealing with KD's talking down to me especially when I'm upset or when he's upset with me. If I'm so precious why should I get treated that way? I love this boy, when he cries I cry with him. I give him everything I can, I stop everything on a whim for him and his needs.
I'm not taking it anymore. I'm a woman now I'm trying to find myself a career and a life. It's okay to be boyfriend and girlfriend right now. (He recently reclaimed me as his girlfriend, we separated and I decided to call him my boyfriend since we acted like it anyway).
I am really starting to understand why people have casual sex or put themselves in bad relationships.
What I feel right now is why.
I feel abused and just treated terribly. I don't want to talk to him. When my mind wanders to kissing him (which is usually a thought that makes me smile) I am disgusted. I feel just *done*.
I have enough. I don't care right now. I guess it's like feeling so hurt that you feel numb...
Ironic I suppose.
It comes down the the same few things.
- I want attention.
- His family & friends come first.
- He isn't passionate enough about me to do anything & everything he can to get his butt up here to see me.
I don't want to break up with him. I love him, truly. But I realized I don't feel like rushing. I don't want to marry myself into a situation like this. I'm not sure if I want to get married to him. Maybe we should just be boyfriend & girlfriend forever and I'll do my thing have my career and he'll do his thing and have his career, and we'll see each other when we see each other.